So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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