why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
