doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
