I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
