Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He better not be in your backpack
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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