So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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