did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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