I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
