They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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