so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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