There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
