i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
