Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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