My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
