I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
