so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
