I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
