I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
