the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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