what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
