in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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