His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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