There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
