what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
