She's JV to your varsity
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
