Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
