ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
