I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
