I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
