Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
