Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize