You're completely useless in the revolution.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
