i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
