Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
