I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
