How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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