do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize