We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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