i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
