omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
