When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
