Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When are your genitals available?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
