I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
