just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
