Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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