she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
