Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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