Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize