i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We are two peas in an std pod
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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