she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
