Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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