I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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