dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize