hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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