i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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