i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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