The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
